Legal

Community Guidelines & Safety

actual.love exists for one thing: helping adults find a serious, lasting relationship. That only works if everyone here is real, kind and safe. These guidelines are part of our Terms of Service.

1. The spirit of the place#

• Be real. Use your real first name, date of birth and, if you share one, a genuine, recent photo. Be honest with Valeria and with the people you meet.
• Be here for the right reason. actual.love is for people seeking a committed, lifelong relationship, not hook-ups or one-night stands. If you are married or in a relationship, this is not the place for you.
• Be kind. Everyone here is taking a risk by being open. A polite "I don't think we're a match" is always better than silence or cruelty.
• Respect "no". If someone declines an introduction, chooses not to share a photo, stops replying or ends a date, let it go.

2. What is not allowed#

Breaking these rules can lead to photos being removed, introductions ended, or your account being suspended or closed.

• Minors. You must be 18 or older. Never involve, discuss meeting or share images of anyone under 18.
• Sex work and solicitation. No offering, requesting or advertising sex, sexual services or "arrangements", paid or otherwise.
• Scams. No asking for money, gifts, crypto, investments, loans or financial details, and no sob stories designed to get them.
• Harassment. No threats, stalking, intimidation, insults, unwanted sexual messages or continued contact after someone has said no.
• Hate. No attacks or slurs based on race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, disability, sex, gender, sexual orientation or similar characteristics.
• Impersonation. No pretending to be someone else, using another person's photos, or misrepresenting your age.
• Married people pretending to be single. If you are married or in a committed relationship, do not present yourself as available.
• Commercial use. No selling, promoting, recruiting or advertising of any kind.
• Scraping and automation. No bots, scripts, scraping, or attempts to manipulate Valeria or our systems.
• Sharing other members' information. Do not pass on anyone's name, photo, contact details or personal details to others.

3. Photos and contact details#

There are no public photos. Once you are introduced, each of you may share a photo for that introduction; photos are shown only if you both choose to share. To say yes, you choose which contact details to share (phone number, WhatsApp number and/or email), and the other person sees them only if they say yes too. Share only what you are comfortable with. actual.love has no in-app chat: after the exchange you talk directly, and we do not see or keep your messages or calls.

If an intimate image of you has been shared on actual.love without your consent, use our image removal form. We remove it within 48 hours of a valid request.

4. About Valeria#

Valeria is an AI matchmaker, not a human. Her suggestions and observations can be wrong. She is not a therapist or counselor, does not replace professional help and cannot help in an emergency. If you are in danger or crisis, contact your local emergency services (911 in the US). If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. Read more in Valeria and your wellbeing.

5. Reporting#

• Report an introduction or member from the introduction card if they break these guidelines, make you feel unsafe, or seem to be under 18. Our staff review every report.
• Once you have exchanged contact details, you can also block that person in your own phone, WhatsApp or email.
• For anything urgent or serious, or if something happened in person, also email safety@actual.love. If a crime has occurred or someone is at risk, contact the police first.
• To ask us to remove an intimate image shared without consent, use the image removal form.
• We may suspend accounts while we look into a report. Reporting in bad faith is itself a breach of these guidelines.

6. Staying safe online#

Online Dating Safety Awareness

actual.love does not conduct criminal background screenings or identity verification of its members. People you meet online may not be who they say they are. Take your time, and protect your personal information.

• Never send money or financial information to someone you met here, however convincing the story.
• Be wary of anyone who avoids a video call, or has reasons they can never meet.
• Choose which contact details you share, and keep other personal details (home address, workplace, surname, financial details) private until you trust someone.
• A video call on your own phone or WhatsApp before meeting in person is a good way to confirm someone is who they say they are.

Protecting Yourself from Financial Crimes

• Never send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or bank details to someone you met here, however convincing or urgent the story.
• Be suspicious of anyone who talks about investments, trading or business opportunities, or asks you to move the conversation to a platform you do not know.
• If you think you have been targeted by a scam, stop contact, report the member to us, contact your bank, and report the fraud to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov.

7. Meeting in person#

Protecting Yourself from Sexual Assault and Dating Violence

• Meet in a public place, such as a busy café or restaurant, and stay in public for the first few dates.
• Tell a friend where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to be back.
• Arrange your own transport to and from the date, so you can leave whenever you want.
• Stay in control. Watch your drink and your belongings, and know your limits with alcohol.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, leave. You do not owe anyone an explanation.
• Never send money, before or after meeting.
• Consent matters. Anyone can say no to any activity at any time, and consent to one thing is not consent to another.

8. Reporting a crime and getting help#

If a crime has happened or someone is in danger, contact the police first. Then let us know at safety@actual.love so we can act on the account.

• Emergency: call 911.
• Sexual assault: RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-4673, or rainn.org.
• Dating violence and domestic abuse: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, or thehotline.org.
• Suicide or emotional crisis: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text 988.
• Fraud and romance scams: Federal Trade Commission, reportfraud.ftc.gov.

9. What happens when rules are broken#

Our staff review reports. Depending on what happened, we may warn the member, remove photos, end an introduction, or suspend or close the account. Accounts that appear to belong to someone under 18 are suspended. Where there is a risk to someone's safety or a legal requirement, we may involve the authorities. If you think we got it wrong, write to safety@actual.love.